I Believe in Being Modest

Awesome Highlighter Pants: Kohls, Shirt: TJ Maxx, Shoes: Target, Earrings: Langford Market

I would like to preface my post by saying, in no way am I hoping this to come across as angry or in hopes of starting an argument. These are just my opinions, my beliefs and my values.

Yesterday I read a blog post on modesty by a woman whom I believe to be incredibly talented and enjoy seeing the outfits. Let me say that her post had some very valid and thought provoking points. She raised my awareness in certain topics and helped me see the other side of the coin from her perspective. I, in no way, think that she was hoping to be hurtful or hateful, but rather, like myself, express her opinions and raise awareness to how loosely we use the term "modesty". (I hope I am not putting words into her mouth) I would first like to bring to light a few of the points she hit on and then give my reasons and views on why I dress "modestly". Also how it plays a major role in my life. Please stick with me as this may go all over the place. 

On the blog post it was mentioned that one of the questions we first ask when we hear about a woman being raped is, "what was she wearing? " I have to say that this is nowhere near my first question. Rather I think where was she, what caused this terrible thing to happen and how can I prevent this from happening to me and those I love? The thought that what she was wearing, must have provoked the rapist into taking action is truly absurd. And I am hoping that whoever said this will retracted their previous statement. It is true that by saying this we animalize men everywhere, excuse the one at fault and place blame on the victim. Likewise psychiatrists have proved that there is something happening neurotically when one commits rape and/or murder. And this is not stimulated by the dress of the victim alone. Thank you Elizabeth for bringing this thought to light and exposing it for what it truly is. If you would like to read the original post go to delightfully tack.

Let me just touch on the term modest, and what I perceive modesty to mean. From my very early childhood I understood that as a young woman I should dress modestly. That meant sleeves on my blouses and dresses, wearing dresses and skirts that went to my knees and a non-revealing neckline. To me this has always been "easy" to follow. What I mean by easy is, the rule was easy to follow. It has never been easy to find clothes that met all of these requirements. Which meant I would have to layer with a cami or cardigan and sometimes both. But I understood that by being modest I held myself to a higher degree. That I was respecting my body and those around me by dressing in such a way. And I think this is where it gets confusing to some. The thought may be, "So if I don't dress like that, I'm not respectful to those around me and am desecrating my body?" Which I find to be completely untrue. However there is an extreme. Obviously if your hemline is playing peek-a-boo with your bottom and your breasts are falling out of your shirt, that, I feel, can truly be considered immodest. And is disrespectful to yourself. And even to those around you.

 Wheater this is the correct way of thinking or not, the way you dress says everything about you. Your first impression is formed by how you are dressed and your appearance.  That is why it is so important to dress professionally (or like you know what you're talking about) when going to a job interview. If you are wearing clothing that is leaving little to the imagination does that not tell your future employer that you are light hearted and carefree? (This is an extreme example mind you) Likewise if you dress like you respect yourself, you are demanding the respect of others without them even knowing. And I think that is what it comes down to. How you dress transcends into every asset of your life. If you are constantly having to tug at your hemline or neckline you give off the appearance of being uncomfortable, therefore making those around you uncomfortable. 

Now, like I said modestly for me modesty means sleeves, hemline to the knees and neckline covering the greatest part of your chest. But this may not be "modest" for everyone. Each person you talk to can define modesty differently. It varies from religion to religion and culture to culture. It's true that while I believe myself to be modest, the woman dressed in true Muslim garb may think me to be immodest. Likewise there are women I talk to daily that I believe to be "modest". They might wear a sleeveless dress or tank top or shorts or a dress or skirt that may come just above the knee. However I think it modest because they are dressed tastefully. They aren't showing their undergarments as they walk. They are put together and are confident in what they are wearing. I think that is truly what we must consider when thinking of "modesty". It may not be so cut and dry as we have thought it to be before. Rather to dress like we respect ourselves.

I would like to also address the fact that what is "modest" on one may not be so on another. For example I can wear a tank top that covers my small chest while my sister, who is very well endowed (G cup size naturally) can wear the exact tank and still show cleavage. (Thanks for letting me use you as an example sister) Her challenge in being "modest" has always superseded mine. She has to put more thought into what she wears and where to go shopping for clothing that she feels pretty in while still being modest. But by doing so she escapes stares and can help those around her accomplish eye contact (men and women alike.) for it is a natural thing for everyone to at least glance at cleavage without it meaning anything sexual.

On another point, I don't believe modesty should change from climate to climate. It becomes more challenging but remains the same. I lived in Idaho for 4 years, where the winters are long and very cold and now live in Texas where the it is hot and the average humidity is 80%. I had to change the way I thought when I got dressed for the day but that didn't it didn't change my standards. 

I do believe that modest- or being tasteful- is hottest. When we dress in this way we give ourselves an air or confidence, strength and respect. Which is a beautiful thing. The clothing we wear does not make us to be who we are. It only can highlight our greatest features. Our bodies are great and amazing things. They can overcome great illness, reproduce cells when damaged and create life. We are amazing, beautiful creatures that cannot be duplicated. Our bodies are our own, to treat with care and love. Our clothing should only help us highlight this wonderful fact.